She Runs by the Seashore

We heard “Go,” and with that, my fellow beer mile competitors and I each started drinking our first beer of the race.

A handful of us were attempting the beer mile this morning, July 3. It involves running a mile and drinking four beers — one before the first lap and one each after laps one, two and three. The event was hosted by Matt and Melissa, and the lap was a loop in their neighborhood. Since it was slightly shorter than a quarter-mile, there was a little bit of extra running at the end.

I had never attempted something like this before, so I was particularly glad we were not required to follow the official rules (yes, there are actually official rules!) that require the beer to be at least 5 percent ABV. I am usually a craft beer drinker, but for this, I decided on the 4.2-percent Miller Lite.

I was the last to finish my first beer. I wasn’t too surprised by that, as I figured I would not be a quick beer drinker. It’s certainly not something I practice, and I was never a partier, so I really had no fast beer drinking experience. My original idea was to make up for my slow beer drinking by running faster.

The loops seemed to go by quickly; as I rounded that last corner each time and could see the beer tent, I didn’t want to get there too fast because it meant I would have to drink another beer. It was definitely tough to stomach the beers — literally — as the event went on.

The race involved a decent amount of burping, although nobody threw up, which is a good thing.

As it went on, I could no longer try to make up for my slow beer drinking with fast running. After the fourth beer, when I had a little more than a lap to go, I felt like I just could not run any faster — it was like I was being weighed down.

I was lapped by at least two people, maybe more, and ended up coming in second-to-last with a time of 16:45.

I did a mile for speed on Thursday, without beer, and ran it in 7:43. So, I more than doubled my time by adding the beers. Even though I was on the slower end (the winner actually finished the feat in less than 10 minutes), I still feel good about my time, and that I did not throw up.

A word of advice: If you do attempt a beer mile, the rest of your day may not be too productive. After my boyfriend and I walked home, I ended up falling asleep for three hours or so. You also may burp for the rest of the day.

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